Kind of a wild and woolly one this week on Stargate Universe. There was some interesting bits and also some stuff that left me power blinking. Let’s dive in and find out what could have gone so horribly, horribly wrong.
It’s across the empty Stargate-less void they go this week and minus a few live bodies in the form of Eli, Chloe and Matthew, who were left behind in some nameless someplace. Oh but we will miss them. On the gigantic Destiny, a ship that looks about the size of a small city, the remaining crew bounce around in the same two corridors and pine for the lost. Pretty soon though, real problems crop up to focus on. The Destiny is out of gas. Between galaxies, or at least between these two, there’s not a lot of stars to pop into and fill up the tanks. Soon, the Destiny will stop, many light years from anywhere and drift on in slow-mo. The castaways can barely make it week to week. It’s obvious they’re done for.
It seems though that all the Destiny really needs is a tune-up. Rush isn’t the man to do it so it’ll have to be someone from home. The stones thing is starting to get on my nerves a bit. It’s an easy out. It would be much more fun if the expertise on the Destiny is all they could call on. The stones just serve as an air hole to let all the suspense out of the room. I don’t care about their relationships back on Earth. The fun is in how they cope without them and how they are forced to deal with the people lost with them in the close confines and scarce supplies on the Destiny. Ditch the stones is my vote. Increase the levels of paranoia and desperation.
Via the dramatic shortcut, the crew gets a visit from the lovely egghead and old friend of Dr. Rush, Amanda Perry, who will help Rush and the other propellerheads get a few more miles to the gallon out of old Destiny. There’s a problem though. On Earth, she’s paralysed from the neck down. Someone is going to have to inhabit that condition while cute physicist gets busy on the engines. Lt. Vanessa James gives it a go but can’t manage the ventilator. This leaves it to Camile Wray to take one for the team. She body swaps, then immediately requests that she be able to go home to her partner for safekeeping. Camille at home with her partner is a yawner. Respect goes to Camile for enduring this disability for 3 weeks but I couldn’t get into the emotional part. I’m a guy. The point must have whizzed over my head.
Shortly after Lt. James telepresences back to Earth for her short stay, the Destiny screeches out of FTL with a blown gasket. Instead of having to figure out how to get the Destiny to run more smoothly, now Rush and Dr. Perry must figure out how to bypass the damaged cog that was conveniently making the Destiny a pig in the first place. Just why exactly did this piece decide to blow up when it did? More on that in a minute.
Dr. Perry is now of course walking around in the body of Camile Wray. Having a body that works is totally cool. Amanda and Dr. Rush used to be tight. Amanda had a thing for our Scottish friend who seems now like a much more likable guy. They beaver away diligently in close quarters as they calculate this and figure out that. How much about attraction is the other person’s personality? How much is simply physical? Why is Dr. Perry not a lesbian if she resides in Camile’s body? I am thinking too much. It’s a problem.
Elsewhere, the beautiful and bodacious Vanessa James, equipped with, let’s face it, the greatest rack in Space history, is caring for the completely forgotten Franklin, who managed to temporally escape from his catatonic state from alien chair damage to fall down in a corridor when the Destiny explosively popped out of FTL. Vanessa thinks something is up. Her memory is missing some pieces. She thinks Franklin is still floating around in his head space someplace too, perhaps figuring out what lobe does what. They are joined at the hip as she feeds him space paste and tries to figure it all out.
Did I mention that Eli, Chloe and Matt just gated home? I didn’t? I’m just going to say that there had better be a good reason why they were able to get home without any dramatic lead up, after all the hand wringing and consternation from last week. I’m going to have a little faith here and say that there is probably going to be some explanation that will be thrilling and Science Fictiony. Everyone is home and Greer greets Matt with some good natured back slapping despite what must be a stinging ego. All that awful abandonment is forgotten obviously.
It was late and maybe I missed some vital logic to the rest of the proceedings. I must have dozed off here and there or perhaps it was the booze. Suddenly, Vanessa figures out that she was possessed! Aliens invaded her while she was using the stones. She was the one that destroyed the engine widget! How she did that must have been touched on. Nessa threw the spanner in the the gear that was bad of course. The one that needed destroying. Maybe the blue peanut headed guys are trying to help the Destiny? Oh but wait they’re back again, using Vanessa to track down the ship in the void. Will they continue to help?
With R2D2′s assistance, the bad motor part has been bypassed. Who will jump start the Destiny? Well obviously it’ll be Colonel Young, since he has all this experience with Ancients tech and math and of course his previous chair visits to call on. He’s the obvious choice. No, it’ll be Franklin, who manages muscle control and some fore-brain activity sufficient to toss the completely qualified Young out of the chair. Franklin plops down in the chair like it’s Dad’s recliner, fires it up like a veteran and demands his privacy before putting himself in a mind cooling freezer. The Destiny rips into FTL, just as the Blues arrive and continue their kind assistance with heavy weapons fire as Franklin gets sucked up into the ceiling or sublimates or flees his body to become one with Destiny like a refugee from Pandora. I obviously just made this all up, or I was dreaming it. It could not have happened.
This was a very distressing episode. Since I’m now pretty invested in the characters and their plight I’m focused on keeping a positive outlook. This episode sucked. Robert Carlyle continues to rock the joint with great acting and we had lots of Vanessa this week, but with writing this bad, it’s bumming me out. There’s some repair work required. No way and no how does it make the least bit of sense that Colonel Young be the one to hit the chair. It’s insulting. If there’s no explanation as to why Eli and the kids returned home so easily after two episodes of getting us all worked up at their plight I’m going to be an unhappy camper.
So yes, as a really faithful viewer, one who has invested 17,000 words or so to this little show, I’m ready for a return to form next week with an episode conveniently entitled “Pain”. It’s time for some more Eli back story. Just why is he a genius in the first place? I need to see some credentials. See you next week.
