I originally tried to write a traditional review for this new incarnation of “Riverworld”, but found it too difficult. The review just never came together, which happens when I find myself writing about a movie that I neither loved nor hated. “Riverworld” falls somewhere in there. As a result, I’ve written this non-traditional review. Please to enjoy.
WHAT IS IT: “Riverworld” is the second attempt by the SyFy Channel to create a TV series around the fantasy/science fiction novels by author Philip Jose Farmer, with the first one being 2003’s “Riverworld” (back when the channel was still the Sci Fi Channel). The 2010 version stars Tahmoh Penikett (of “Battlestar Galactica” and “Dollhouse” fame) and Laura Vandervoort (of “Smallville” fame). Penikett is Matt, a war journalist who is finally ready to settle down and Vandervoort is Jessie, a blonde, gorgeous tour guide. As Matt is popping the question to Jessie, a suicide bomber cocks block him, and it’s off to Riverworld for our heroes. “Riverworld” will air as a four-hour television event on the SyFy Channel April 18, 2010 as what is known in the industry as “a backdoor pilot” – that is, if the show proves to be a ratings winner, the network will consider an ongoing series.
WHAT THE HELL IS RIVERWORLD? Well that’s the question, isn’t it? Sort of like, “What the hell is going on on that island in ‘Lost’?” That’s the central mystery of the show – discovering the reasons behind the creation of Riverworld, which is, literally, a planet criss-cross with one giant, seemingly endless river. The premise is that, every person who has ever lived and died on Earth has somehow been reborn along the endless riverbanks of Riverworld. The purpose of their reincarnation is unknown, but it’s clear that otherworldly beings called Caretakers have designed the planet for some grand purpose. Food is supplied so no one starves, but everyone has reverted back to their prime fighting age – 30 or thereabouts (in the books I believe it’s around 25) – but there is no policing, so someone like, say, Hannibal the Cannibal could carry on his merry ways of dining on his fellow resurrectees if he so chooses. This has resulted in mini-kingdoms by various historic figures, something the show will, no doubt, dabble in often if a series would to happen. Time on Riverworld is also iffy and unpredictable, so you could die along with your best friend (or in the case of our hero Matt, your would-be fiancée) but she might end up on Riverworld years before you.
MATT’S JOURNEY: Being that Matt is our hero, we are introduced to Riverworld through his eyes. In the first two episodes, Matt finds himself the “chosen” champion of one of the Caretakers, who informs him of an ongoing civil war between the Caretakers, but does so in bits and pieces cause, well, what would be the point of just explaining the whole thing? Matt learns that in order to be reunited with Jessie, he must stop Sir Richard Burton (Peter Wingfield, of “Highlander” fame), who has allied himself with infamous Spanish Conquistador Pizarro (Bruce Ramsay). Burton, like Matt, has been brought into the confidence of another Caretaker (the top-billed Alan Cumming), who has assigned him his own mission. Along the way, Matt encounters other resurrectees: the female Samurai Tomoe (Jeananne Goossen), Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain (Mark Deklin), and his old war cameraman, Simon (Arnold Pinnock), who helpfully informs Matt and us why there are no humans reborn on Riverworld past the early 21st century.
SO WHAT’S THE VERDICT? Interesting, but stale. The Brad Johnson 2003 version doesn’t fare all that badly against the new version, and if anything, the two-hour movie actually has much better pacing and action. 2010’s “Riverworld” looks like what it is – a moderately budgeted syndication TV show that probably blew most of its budget on all the lightning CGI. The sets are generic, as are the costumes, writing, and direction. You will never mistake the four-hour movie for anything other than four TV episodes stitched together.
So the question is, will it go to series on the SyFy Channel? Honestly, I can’t see that happening, as compared to the network’s other shows, “Riverworld” comes up lacking in pretty much every department. It could possibly survive as a syndicated action-adventure show, but I wouldn’t put money on it. The show doesn’t quite have enough “fun” to overcome its deficiencies ala shows like “Hercules” or “Xena”, or even the gratuitously sexy “Legend of the Seekers”. As our hero, Tahmoh Penikett has some nice one-liners and generally cuts a heroic figure, but he’s working uphill here.
Stuart Gillard (director) / Robert Hewitt Wolfe (screenplay), Philip Jose Farmer (books)
CAST: Tahmoh Penikett … Matt
Laura Vandervoort … Jessie
Mark Deklin … Sam
Peter Wingfield … Burton
Jeananne Goossen … Tomoe
Romina D’Ugo … Allegra
Kwesi Ameyaw … Youseff
Thea Gill … Female Caretaker
Alan Cumming … Judas Caretaker
Arnold Pinnock … Simon
Bruce Ramsay … Pizarro
