Mini-Capsule Reviews: Aliens vs. Predator 2, Babylon A.D.

Sometimes you just don’t feel like reviewing the whole movie, thus the creation of the Mini-Capsule Reviews category. Up first, the sequel “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem”, and the Vin Diesel mess — er, I mean, sci-fi action film — “Babylon A.D.”

“Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem” (2007)

Directed by brothers Colin Strause and Greg Strause, former visual effects guys turned first-time feature film director. And boy does it show. The Brothers Strause (as they’re credited) could care less about flesh-and-blood characters. The story has the familiar Aliens creatures at the root of a bloody infestation in a small Colorado town. As required by the movie title, a Predator soon shows up to hunt them. Much blood-letting and human spammage ensue.

Reiko Aylesworth of 24 fame plays the token human lead, a former soldier who has just returned home, though she shares time with Steven Pasquale as an ex-con. That’s pretty much all the background and character arcs you get. This is all about the bloodbath, and the Strause boys put their background in creature design and effects to maximum effort.

“Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem” is a movie where the filmmakers realize the stars are the creatures, and the humans are just fodder. That’s what I expected going in, and that’s what I got. In that respect, “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem” is a total success. I saw the “R” version, but apparently there is an “Unrated” version out there. I can’t even begin to imagine how much bloodier the “Unrated” version is.

“Babylon A.D.” (2008)

What a mess. That’s what I kept thinking while watching Mathieu Kassovitz’s “Babylon A.D.”, one of those futuristic thrillers where the real (and sometimes only) fun is the production designs. Kassovitz looks like he’s going somewhere in the first half, when Vin Diesel’s gruff and tough-as-nails Toorop is leading his charges — a kung-fu nun played by Michelle Yeoh and the innocent and naive Aurora (Mélanie Thierry) — across a dystopian Eastern Europe/Russia to the neon bright lights of New York. Unfortunately the whole thing goes off the rails about the same time parkouring kids show up to interfere with our main man’s mission.

The version of “Babylon AD” I saw was slightly longer than 90 minutes, which would make it the edited version that FOX finally released after a long and public feud with director Kassovitz. The Frenchman’s cut was apparently 70 minutes longer. As is usually the case, the excised portions probably filled in more gaps about the characters, their situation, and the world in which the movie is set. What’s left is a brisk first half, a couple of convoluted and poorly shot (and edited) action sequences, and a long car chase at the end that feels utterly tacked on just to add to the “action” quotient.

Would 70 additional minutes have helped? I suspect that it might have made the film less episodic and expanded on the world, especially the final 20 minutes or so, which seems to be missing about 30 minutes of important character exploration. But I can’t say for sure if the hack job by FOX is responsible for the mess, though I suppose whenever a movie studio gets involved, the chances of good things coming out of it as a result are anywhere from slim to butkus.

Alas, I can only review what I see before me, and what I see is a film that tries, looks good (a mega Hollywood budget will do that), but is a complete mess. There are a lot of interesting ideas, and Diesel looks the part. Unfortunately the film is sunk by a convoluted and indecipherable story that might have been interesting on the written page, but did not translate to the screen.