Anyone who sat through “Legion” would do well to petition Christian leaders to add a 13th Commandment, one that would prevent filmmakers from dragging God into their ridiculous and boring movies. Which is, to put it kindly, exactly what this sluggishly inept project is. “Legion” has a phenomenally talent cast that works overtime, but they can’t stem the tide of incompetency that constantly washes over the film.

“Legion” has a great beginning, with the Archangel Michael falling to Earth and commandeering a staggering amount of guns from a illegal cache that is conveniently always around whenever you need them. Then off he heads in a police car to a diner located in the microscopic town of Paradise Falls. For a long time, we learn, God grown angry with humanity. Now the fecal matter has hit the wind producing device, and God’s decided to wipe out his disobedient creations. The only hope for the human race is the unborn child of an unwed waitress, a child that will lead his people out of the darkness. The Paradise Falls diner is humanity’s last stand, with a diverse group of customers and a renegade angel holding off an apocalypse of biblical proportions.

The script by Scott Stewart and Peter Schink has a terrific premise, but it’s execution makes you wonder if it was written by a panel of the mentally retarded. How the plot is laid out is an puzzling enigma of logic. There’s just no rhyme or reason to the screenplay, it amounts to five minutes of action for every 30 minutes of boredom. After a brief appearance at the opening, Michael doesn’t reappear until 45 minutes into the film. The heavily hyped possessed ice cream man is limited to a cameo of less than a minute, a waste of the versatile Doug Jones.

Then there’s the religious aspect, which isn’t the best idea since the writers seem to have never actually read a Bible. Probably never had time because they were too busy ripping off “Night of the Living Dead”, “The Terminator”, “Doctor Who: The End of Time”, and “The Prophecy” series. The diner characters, who have most of the screen time, are conceived as little more than the generic characters who you always see in films that have people trapped in one place. Co-writer Scott Stewart is about as good a director as he is a writer. Actually he’s a terrible director, giving the action scenes all the adrenaline rush of a senior citizen bake off and allowing the rest of the film to slowly limp to its’ eventual conclusion.

Despite all this, the cast of “Legion” perform heroically. Dennis Quaid, Charles S. Dutton, Tyrese Gibson and Lucas Black, who get a lot more than they bargained for when they walked in the diner that morning. As the Archangel Gabriel. Kevin Durand makes for a sympathetic and conflicted adversary, while Adrianne Palicki radiates sexy vulnerability as the mother who may save humanity. As a actor handling his first action lead, Paul Bettany is stiff and emotionless as Michael. He at times looks uncomfortable firing all those automatic weapons, and his stoic delivery gives him the appearance of being bored by everything that’s going on.

“Legion” could have been a fantastic film. It should have been terrific with the cast it has. It would’ve considering the intriguing concept. It just didn’t have what it needed most, a great script and a talented director. So it became a failure, a tragic disappointment instead. But the ending promises a sequel, so maybe “Legion II” will be a second chance.

Scott Stewart (director) / Peter Schink, Scott Stewart (screenplay)
CAST: Paul Bettany … Michael
Lucas Black … Jeep Hanson
Tyrese Gibson … Kyle Williams
Adrianne Palicki … Charlie
Charles S. Dutton … Percy Walker
Kevin Durand … Gabriel
Jon Tenney … Howard Anderson
Willa Holland … Audrey Anderson
Kate Walsh … Sandra Anderson
Dennis Quaid … Bob Hanson