Our first look Master of Disaster Roland Emmerich’s new disaster film, “2012″, has arrived online. It’s a short teaser, just barely over a minute long, featuring what appears to be a monk racing up a long slope of mountains to a temple, and then looking out at — egads, an ocean towering over said mountains! (I’m guessing oceans aren’t supposed to get this high?) The ocean wipes away the temple, while titlecards ask us what our governments would do in the face of an impending, world-ending natural disaster. It then answers itself: Nothing. Because, you know, governments suck and such. Anyways, enjoy the teaser.

Let’s get one thing straight: no one really expected Roland Emmerich’s “2012″ to be an example of quality filmmaking, did they? I mean, come on, we’re talking about the guy behind “ID4″, “The Day After Tomorrow”, and “Godzilla” here. Dubious science, even by the low standards of movie technobabble, and outrageous stunts featuring people running away from massive fireballs are Roland Emmerich’s stock in trade. Why, without them, we wouldn’t have crazily entertaining movies like “ID4″ and “10,000 BC”! So someone has read the script for Emmerich’s “2012″, and it’s crap. Well duh. Isn’t all of Emmerich’s scripts kinda crappy? It’s what he does with it on the big screen that matters. I.e. explosions. Lots and lots of explosions.

Roland Emmerich’s apocalyptic tale of death and destruction (all done with the maximum of effects and coolness, no doubt) has landed its female lead in Amanda Peet. The “Whole Nine Yards” star joins a cast lead by John Cusack, and includes Chiwetel Ejiofor and fictional White House staffers Thandie Newton, Danny Glover and Oliver Platt. She’ll be playing John Cusack’s ex-wife, because, let’s face it, these disaster movies always feature a hero and his ex, don’t they?

It looks like Roland Emmerich is diving head-first into the end of the world with his new movie “2012″. Coming on the heels of the recent casting announcements that John Cusack and Chiwetel Ejiofor have joined the cast, three more names have been added. Danny Glover (pictured left, “Lethal Weapon”), Thandie Newton (”The Chronicles of Riddick”), and Oliver Platt are all currently in negotiations to join the project.

Director Roland Emmerich’s apocalyptic movie “2012″ has found its leading man in John Cusack (pictured, left), who will be headlining the film about an impending disaster in the year 2012 as foretold by the Mayan calender. Also joining Cusack’s quest to, one presumes, stop the impending disaster is “Redbelt” star and uber “Serenity” galactic badass Chiwetel Ejiofor (pictured, below).

Director Roland Emmerich’s new movie, “2012″ was so good that studios engaged in a bidding war for it. Or at least that’s what people are saying. Personally, I think people just realized the dude has done a ton of entertaining movies and made a bucket load of money, and studios love nothing more than a bankable filmmaker, and Roland Emmerich is certainly that. Now, here’s more about his latest, the “end of the world” disaster movie “2012″. Right. Emmerich and “end of the world” movies. Not exactly a stretch, eh?

Director Roland Emmerich really, really hates the planet Earth and wants to destroy it over and over again (”Independence Day”, “The Day After Tomorrow”). Why? Sources tell me because once upon a time, when Roland was very young, Planet Earth kicked his dog, threw his grandma out the window, and set his house on fire. Yeah, that’ll piss anyone off. Emmerich’s latest is “2012″, an end-of-the-world movie that he’s shopping the script around to potential buyers.