Here’s a theory: maybe director Mathieu Kassovitz knew his movie sucked (with or without FOX’s interference, as many reviews, even those based on his longer, UNinterfered with cut (which, according to Kassovitz himself, only runs about 15 minutes longer) seems to remark the same thing — that is, this thing is bad), which prompted him to go out and blast the movie in public, blaming it all on FOX. Really? The fact that your movie only has a .07% freshness rating at RottenTomatoes, as of this writing, is because FOX edited down your movie for pacing, Mathieu? I don’t know about that. In any case, here’s a round-up of reviews for the sci-fi actioner, which I am sad to report, I’m not going to pay money to see. This thing just sounds Godawful.

David Rudge of TotalFilm gets right down to it:

Hard to believe, but there was a time when the phrase ‘starring Vin Diesel!’ was more of a promise than a threat.

Ouch.

The guys at IGN Movies didn’t have much use for it, either:

Babylon A.D. is a poorly-assembled sci-fi melodrama bereft of excitement or intelligence that will only remind me of the director’s earlier, better film because its translated title echoes my sentiments about this one - namely, hatred.

Harsh.

UK newspaper the Guardian was a bit kinder:

You don’t need to have a grudging affection for Vin Diesel to appreciate this dunderheaded comic-book adventure - although, obviously, it helps.

I THINK that’s a positive review. Not really sure, though.

The Cinematical guys would rather get a tooth canal than watch it again:

Babylon A.D. is a bad, bloated big-budget science fiction film that doesn’t even have the distinction of being memorably horrible or fascinatingly inept; it’s simply a lump of product, a failure too expensive to simply discard.

All of this kind of reminds me of what Michelle Yeoh, who co-starred in the movie, said when asked to compare the directing style of Mathieu Kassovitz and that of Rob Cohen, whose “The Mummy 3″ movie she was also recently in. Yeoh said that Cohen was technical and orderly, whereas Kassovitz’s set was harried and chaotic. Sounds like the movie.

“Babylon AD” opens today.

Below: critics take aim at “Babylon AD”.